You Don’t Have to Want to Wake Up

Some mornings I don’t want to wake up.

Not in the dramatic sense, just in the real, exhausted, too-much-to-feel sense. I open my eyes and everything is already too loud. The list. The world. The ache I went to bed with and woke up beside.

And then I think, I don’t want to be mindful today.

That’s when the practice really begins.

Applied Zen doesn’t expect you to show up radiant. It doesn’t demand enthusiasm. It doesn’t even require willingness.

It just invites you, gently, to stay.

Even if you’re tired. Even if you’re numb. Even if the thought of “waking up” feels like too much work.

The truth is, you don’t have to want it to begin. You just have to begin.

You can start by sitting in bed and noticing the weight of your body. You can start by brushing your teeth and feeling the water. You can start by saying, “I don’t want this today”, and staying anyway.

Because practice isn’t always glorious. It’s often quiet. Grumpy. Dull. Gritty.

It’s the moment you pause before the first scroll. The breath you take between complaints. The soft voice inside that says, Even if I can’t feel it now… I know how to return.

Zen doesn’t punish you for being human. It meets you there.

On the days you want to escape. On the days you can’t find your peace. On the days you wish mindfulness would stop knocking on your door and just let you rest.

Guess what?

You can rest.

You can lie down. You can take a break. You can come back tomorrow.

But even that honesty, especially that honesty, is part of the path.

You don’t have to want to wake up. You don’t have to be inspired. You just have to breathe.

And let that be enough.

Because it is.